A tale from the PanPac Convention

Type of post: "In Harmony" Newsletter
Status: Current
Date Posted: Tue, 17 Oct 2017

The Hulk of the Dunkirk

“Ladies and gentlemen, the Captain has activated the fasten seat belts sign would you please return to your seats….”

I am back in normality and quite frankly I was lucky to make it.

“Cabin crew please be seated for landing”

6a.m and I sprang out of bed, threw most of my stuff into the suitcase and the rest in my backpack, Jeans and T shirt on ……out of the Dunkirk hotel room number 10 door and into the corridor heading for the bathroom. No ensuites for me matey.

Nope. Someone’s in there already. Ok let’s head down to the next floor and use that one. Better lock my door it’s a hotel and I don’t know who my neighbours are. Pull it closed. The latch clicks into place. Wait a minute…. room 9!!!! Oh no.

I tap my key on the bathroom window.


“Mate I’ve locked your room door”.

“What did you do that for”!

“Thought it was my room”.

“You idiot!”.

“I’ll go down and see if I can get someone”.

I inferred two significant details from this conversation. 1. He didn’t have his key 2. He wasn’t thrilled.

I tried my key in his lock. It slid in but wouldn’t turn. Down to the ground floor and everything is locked up and totally deserted. Race up again to meet the tattooed hulk at the top of the stairs.

“You idiot”

“Look can you stop saying that I’ve already told myself that”.

“What the *#*#*#”

“That’s not helping. I’ll phone the pub number”: ‘Please call back during our opening hours 8a.m to…….

I’ve got to walk to the harbour, wait for the light rail every (24minutes) change to the railway station, get to the airport, check in and ----you know the deal. I’m not doing well at this point. If going on stage at the Pan Pac’s was 2, I’d estimate this was 8 on the panic scale.

I look closely at my door lock and try to see where the latch fits into its metal recess. I need a plastic card. Myers points card. It goes in past the rebate but then I can tell that it’s bending to the side.

The hulk is on the roof garden making a phone call. I throw my stuff out of the suitcase and search for the multi tool—can’t find it. Hulk comes back.

“You idiot”

“Will you quit saying that ---the point is to get the door open”.

I get the cutlery tray out of my room and get the steak knife, I’m not sure how he’s going to interpret that if he ever bothers with the concept of interpreting.

I try the knife and it slots in but it’s just under the catch.

I get hulk to take over so that he stops thinking about throwing me down the stairs.

While he’s occupied trying to break in I think about Mr Bean and wonder if I can do that kind of sly furtive look, sort of wave goodbye and sneak downstairs and run for it.

I get out into the corridor just as hulk clicks the latch and swings his door open. He smiles. We high five.

Ker-Thump. Jees that was a bumpy landing is the undercarriage still intact?

Bob Rutter Qld