The Corona Virus Barbershop Blues

1. Singing with a chorus is a great joy as you know

        But in times like this we have to take a break

        Our Musical Director is in withdrawal now

        And no one’s sure just how much he can take

 

2. He’s asked us all to practise every song that’s on our list

        And to work at home each day for just one hour

        So, when we get together in the future, he will hear

        The chorus sing both gently and with power

 

3. If we don’t keep the standard up and do our best at home

        There won’t be anyone who wants to hire us

        So do your bit for all our sakes and keep the practice up

        Until we overcome this awful via-rus...! ????

 

4. Now, for your information here’s some trivia that’s true

        But a useless fact no doubt you’re bound to think

        For in the country of my birth – that’s England – you may know

        Corona is a tasty, fizzy drink…!

5. So, if you want a cola or perhaps a lemonade

        Or a creaming soda’s one that really works

        Then do not drink the foreign stuff as you might get the bug

        Just stay at home and drink an ‘Ecks’ or ‘Kirks’ 

 

6. Now, Corona is a drink in Oz as you would surely know

        It’s an alcoholic beverage over here

        So, I am drinking more than fifteen bottles every night

        Since you cannot catch the virus from a beer…!  ????

7. But people seem to think this drink is going to harm their health

        And the sales now have fallen through the roof

        To save their reputation they have had to change the name

        But maybe this is just some silly spoof…!

8. Now here’s a thing which worries me that you might like to know

        My local bottle-shop has no more beers…!

        I said “Can’t people simply buy exactly what they need?”

        He said “You’ve been panic-buying here for years…!” ????

 

9. There’s been a run on many things in all the shops and stores

        And several jokes are going ‘round the traps

        So, on the lighter side of things I’ll tell you some of these

        And bring a smile to your lips perhaps

 

10. Now, we ran out of toilet paper several days ago

        So, we’ve started using lettuce leaves instead 

        There is no doubt that harder days are bound to come our way

        It’s just “the-tip-of-the-Iceberg” it’s been said

 

11. If using lettuce doesn’t seem the smartest thing to do

        ‘Cos you really can’t afford the extra cost

        You need a Rocket up the rear of that there is no doubt

        As your Salad-Days are well and truly lost

        (Thanks to Will Hessler & Richard Fisher for their contributions to these last two verses.)

12. My hearing isn’t perfect so I sometimes miss the words

        And I thought that all the crowds were ‘picnic-buying’

        So, I went to the Deli with a pocket full of cash

        And bought Scotch Eggs (500) – I’m not lying…!

 

13. But I digress and maybe I am really boring you

        So, perhaps we should discuss the Melbournaires

        We love our genre very much – I hope you all agree

        But it’s hard to practise from our comfy chairs

 

14. So, Messrs. Hudnott, Fisher, Wright and Mr Dougall too

        Decided they should practise songs on line

        They tried a software package known as ZOOM to do the job

        And we all agreed the video was fine

 

15. The trouble started when we spoke as you will now hear told

        When any person sang, the microphone…

        …switched off the other voices who were trying to sing their part

           And one found oneself was singing all alone…!

    “The Zoomers Quartet”

 

16. I’m sure we all sang perfectly with timing and in pitch

        And if you could hear the sound it would be bliss

        It’s such a shame the Tenor, Lead and Bass could not be heard

        But the Baritone we really didn’t miss...!

 

17. There must be other software that will do just what we need

        And if you know one which works then tell the rest

        ‘Cos then the ‘Zoomers’ might get back together once again

        And I’m sure we’ll leave you totally depressed…!

 

18. Enough of this tomfoolery, we really must go on

        As I’m sure this silliness is going to tire us

        So, let me finish very soon and get back to the point

        And address this awful “Covid-19’ via-rus…!

 

19. Of course, it’s very serious and we haven’t seen the worst

        But all I’m trying to do is raise some smiles

        So, we must follow all the rules that PM ScoMo gives

        Then we’re sure to overcome these awful trials

 

20. Now, in conclusion let me say I miss you all already

        And I hope that none us will come-a-cropper

        So, Let’s Get Together Again quite soon & Keep the Whole World Singing

        ‘Cos it’s really great to be a Barbershopper…!  ????