The Barbershop Chorus 
The joy of singing barbershop can never be denied
Except by those who have to listen - often from the side
Of course, our wives and partners will support us to the end
But maybe that’s because they simply want to be our friend...!

Let’s face it, folks, the songs we sing aren’t loved by everyone
But when we get together for rehearsals we have fun
The cricket and the footy and the golf will be discussed
And finally, we’ll start to sing but only if we must...!

The MD always stands out front and quietly leads the team
And forces us through exercises just to help us breath
We’ll sing some tags and other tunes designed to make us blend
But the chords we make are often rather tuneless in the end.

Of course, we all improve our parts by practising each night
So that basses, leads and baritones can get the notes quite right
The tenors, never have a problem – perfection is their aim
And squealing in falsetto is such a simple a game.

It may surprise you all out there that tenor’s what I sing
And with my colleagues we’re the ones who make the chords all ring
The basses, leads and baritones they really try so hard
But it’s obvious to everyone they’ve drawn the lowest card.

When practising at home I put in many, many hours
But my wife hides in the lounge room where she blocks her ears and cowers
Last week she said the song I’d sung – I’d really got off-pat
I didn’t like to tell her that I’d just stood on the cat.

A special word about the basses must be introduced
If nothing else their sense of worth and value needs a boost
Without the bass-line, all our songs would lack the music tonic
And the basses will provide this - even though they’re all moronic.

Of course, I jest, and please forgive my rudeness and bad humour
The poor standard of the basses is just a silly rumour
Without the basses other parts would simply be bare-bones
Which brings me to the obvious – let’s tease baritones…!

It's no fun as a Baritone when singing in the choir, 
The leads get all the tuneful bits that people most admire, 
The basses boom like big trombones, the tenors squeal with glee, 
But Baris only get two notes, or if they’re lucky, three. 



When Baris sing a sacred song, which lifts their hearts in praise
The others get the juicy bits and each harmonious phrase. 
Of course, the leads will sing the tune - they always come off best
While Baris only get three notes then twenty-two bars rest. 

It doesn't matter what they sing, from ballads or up-tune, 
The MD always picks on them – “You’ve come in far too soon...! 
Too high! Too low! Too fast! Too slow! You held that note too long!”
It doesn't matter what they do, it's certain to be wrong. 

Oh!  Shed a tear for Baritones: they’re martyrs and they know 
In ranks of chorus singers they're considered rather low. 
They are so very humble that a lot of folk forget 'em: 
They'd love to sing with tenors but their vocal chords won't let 'em. 

So, when the final chord is due the Baris take a stand, 
With Leads and Tenors, Basses too, will form the heavenly band. 
And when they sing the final Tag to some enchanting song, 
The Baris in the choruses will never get it wrong….!

I haven’t finished yet because the leads still need a mention
They bring brightness to our music even though they’re on the pension
The melody flows from them all - in sounds so rich and clear
But sometimes you’d think most of them had been out on the beer.

The leads are needed desperately to keep the song in pitch
But as they slide we’ll find ourselves all singing in a ditch
However, if the song is long the leads don’t need to moan
The final tag will surely be within their comfort zone...!

Once again, excuse me, please, for being so darned rude
I only joke and jest like this ‘cos I’m a naughty dude
I’m really sure that humour is the thing that makes us tick
And singing with a chorus give us all a mighty kick.

Our Choruses exists because of many loyal friends
And the members who give so much time for organised events
Our wives and partners, friends & mates who give us their support
And help us with so many things without a second thought.

So, in conclusion let us thank the people in the wings
Who give their time anonymously for every guy who sings
The supper crew, the riser guys and folk from low to top
Without them I can surely state – there’d be no Barbershop.

© A L Wright 2017-2018